


Before You Go

by Kamidani



Series: I'll Take My Time, Coming Home To You [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Occurs right after Olympus, Riku learns that despite being children of war they still have some growing up to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 12:09:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18010661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamidani/pseuds/Kamidani
Summary: Their journey has only just begun, but already they were running into complications. Sora returns from Olympus with no true answers to speak of, and Riku returns from the Realm of Darkness with a broken Keyblade and no sign of Aqua whatsoever. Even so, that's only the beginning of their problems. Riku's sworn to protect Sora however he can, but that's a little hard to do when Sora seems determined to deny there's anything wrong in the first place.





	1. I'll Keep You Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Look, this started out as fluff to explain why Sora's hair changes along with his outfit and turned into 5000 words of character exploration and story expansion. I tried to keep it simple (and clean) but I love Sora as a character too much to just let things lie. Obviously we see Sora break down in the Keyblade Graveyard, which is the payoff towards the build up of his insecurities we've been seeing since Kingdom Hearts 1. But no, I can't just leave it at that, because there's no way Sora has been putting on a brave face for this long without someone questioning it. I refuse to believe that. So, this is a canon compliant add-on to the cutscene we see at the Tower after Sora gets back from Olympus. I personally wrote this as just friendship, but if your Soriku shipping heart sees sparks fly, then I certainly won't complain. Enjoy!

If there was one thing Riku could say with absolute confidence, it was that he knew his best friend inside and out. It was a claim he wouldn't ever hesitate making, and he had no doubt that Sora would agree with him should he decide to make said claim in front of him. And yet, despite this, Riku found himself absolutely flabbergasted at how incredibly happy Sora was to have new clothes. He could understand being a little excited, but this? This was just overkill. Especially when the good fairies were currently so obsessed with plaid, of all things.

Even so, Sora's childlike excitement was contagious, and Riku found himself smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Sora didn't even wait for Yen Sid to properly dismiss him before he rushed off, eager to try on the new ensemble. Donald and Goofy hurriedly apologized before rushing to catch up to their excitable charge, the door slamming shut behind them. Riku glanced down at Mickey to see him smiling fondly. Sometimes Riku forgot that Mickey held Sora in nearly as high esteem as he did Riku, especially since the King mainly knew the data version of Sora. Like most of the events of the past few years, it was a little awkward, and very hard to explain. But it was nice to know that there were others out there who were just as determined to keep Sora safe as he was.

"There is not much more we can do than keep trying," Yen Sid announced grimly from behind them. Riku straightened, hoping silently that he hadn't accidentally zoned out and missed something important. "Our hopes, for the most part, rest on Sora. In Xehanort's grand game, Sora is our King, the piece we must do our utmost to protect. Donald and Goofy are the rooks who guard him, and you two are the knights who clear the way. We must not let Xehanort bring his plans to fruition. If he is allowed to do so, Sora will surely be one of the first to suffer the consequences." Mickey hummed in thought, clearly troubled.

"But Master, if we're using chess as an analogy, why would Sora be the king? Until we manage to find Aqua, Terra, and Ven, he's one of the very few who can reliably wield a Keyblade. Once he regains his strength he'll be one of the strongest pieces in play!"

"Normally, I would be inclined to agree." Yen Sid bowed his head and closed his eyes, deep in thought. "However, I have begun to suspect that he is not nearly as confident and upbeat as he would have us believe." Riku snorted in disbelief.

"What, Sora? He's the happiest person in all of the worlds! He's always smiling. He wasn't even upset about failing the Mark of Mastery!" Riku tilted his head to one side, amused. "Nothing can get him down." His words, unfortunately, did not inspire confidence like he had expected them to. Instead, the frown on Yen Sid's face grew even deeper.

"That is the very quality that worries me. In truth, one cannot suffer as you and your friends have without facing the consequences. Riku, you have struggled and fought much to reach the peace you now have. You are not immune to the trauma you've felt, but neither have you allowed it to drag you back into the darkness. For that, you are to be commended. You have truly earned the title of Master." Yen Sid looked up, his gaze meeting Riku's with an intensity rarely seen in the retired Master. "Sora has shown no sign of faltering or grief. No self-doubt, no fear. For a young boy thrust into a war with no warning nor end in sight, that is highly unusual. Especially for one so... emotionally driven, as he is. He has suffered nearly as much as you have, Riku, and yet shown none of the corresponding consequences. That is not normal. Or healthy. And if my suspicions are true, then he is in even more risk of falling to Xehanort in the final fight."

"You think he's hiding his emotions?" Mickey asked incredulously. "Sora hardly seems capable of maintaining a façade like that for so long. I've never even questioned it. Even in the datascape, when he had to be feeling unimaginable pain, even when he lost his Keyblade, it hardly slowed him down. He-" Mickey cut himself off, a horrified look crossing his normally cheerful face. "You're right. That's not normal. No one can feel that much pain and just shrug it off. Even when he did seem scared or uncertain he denied it and immediately moved on. For a child to feel like that… it's just awful."

"But- this is Sora we're talking about," Riku protested. His entire being was revolted at the thought of it. Sora was always smiling. The possibility that deep down, he could be hiding the very same fear and grief that Riku had once (and sometimes still) battled with was unthinkable. But... it made sense, in a terrible sort of way. He had watched his best friend plunge a Keyblade into his chest with a smile on his face. It was the most gruesome lie Sora had ever told, to die with a cheerful grin. To think he was still lying, to all of them, with nothing more than a smile... it made Riku feel gross inside. He had promised to protect Sora. But how could he protect him from something his friend denied happening entirely? He shifted from foot to foot, suddenly anxious to run out and see Sora again. Maybe Sora could come along with them while they delivered the new clothes to Kairi. It would be the first time all three of them were in the same place since before the Exam. Or maybe-

"If you hurry, perhaps you can regroup with Sora before he continues on his journey. Try to bolster his spirits. Believe me, I would dearly love to be wrong." Yen Sid dismissed them with a wave of his hand, closing his eyes wearily. Riku wasted no time in taking his advice, turning and tearing out the door and down the stairs nearly as quickly as Sora had. In doing so, he missed the worried look that Mickey and Yen Sid shared.

As he took the stairs two and three at a time, his mind raced. How would he even broach the subject?  _Hey, Sora, I know you act like everything is okay but we all think you're actually super depressed, so, you know, is that true or nah?_  For once, Riku was completely uncertain as to how Sora would react. He wanted to believe it was all just paranoia. Maybe Sora really was just that cheerful. But… if Yen Sid was right, and Riku did nothing to fix it?

Riku burst out the door, skidding to a halt and squaring his shoulders.  _I'm not failing you again, Sora. No matter what._

At the sudden bang of the doors, Sora yelped and whipped around, eyes wide and Keyblade suddenly in hand. He was only a few feet away from the gummiship that was parked in the clearing, and based on what Riku could see, he was getting ready to take off.

"What, you were gonna leave without saying goodbye?" Riku teased, panting slightly from his haphazard descent. Sora relaxed his stance, rolling his eyes and letting the Keyblade disappear from his grasp.

"Pfft,  _no_ , 'cause unlike a certain someone I don't do that sort of thing," Sora sniped right back. He walked closer to Riku with a nonchalant air, clasping his hands behind his head in a way that was distinctly  _Sora_. "Did you run all the way down the stairs? You're breathing heavy." Riku crossed his arms, glaring half-heartedly.

"So what if I did?" he huffed, hoping he would come across as annoyed rather than being out of breath. Sora barked out a laugh, smiling so wide that his eyes closed. Riku's gaze softened. Even if that smile was fake, it was one of the most precious things in the worlds, and he'd do anything to protect it. (Not that he would ever admit that to Sora, at least not in those words. He would never hear the end of it.)

"I guess it's not a big deal," Sora mused, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You know, aside from the fact that you didn't seem to care nearly as much last time." He let his hands drop to his sides, bouncing in place happily. "But never mind that. Check out the new clothes, Riku!" He held his arms out to either side and twirled around, unable to keep the ecstatic grin off his face. Riku snorted, holding one hand up to obscure his grin.

"You're acting like a girl showing off her new prom dress, Sora. They're just clothes." Sora came to a halt, pouting up at Riku.

"Be careful what you say Riku. For all you know I would look GREAT in a dress!" He held up one hand, curling it into a fist triumphantly. "Besides, what's the point of fighting evil if you don't look good doing it?"

"This, coming from the kid who wore a onesie for the first fourteen years of his life? Sounds suspicious to me." Riku reached forward and pulled at the lapels of Sora's new jacket. The fabric was sturdy and soft to the touch, and he could feel the protective layer of magic woven into it humming under his fingertips. It was kinda weird to see Sora in such dark, understated colours, though. At least his previous outfit had lots of bright yellow and blue to balance the darker fabric. The new outfit was downright depressing in comparison.

"What do you think?" Sora asked, wisely choosing to disregard the comment about the onesie. That was an argument that, if started, would never end without outside intervention. Riku hummed, rubbing the fabric thoughtfully.

"It's sturdy, which is the most important part, but why is it so dark? It's weird to see you in such somber colours." Sora frowned and looked down at himself.

"Oh. I mean, I guess it is a bit different than before. But, Goofy said it made me look more mature. That's a good thing." Sora paused and looked up, an indecipherable expression lurking in his eyes. "Right?" Riku opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again. He ran down here to encourage Sora, to make sure that there was no darkness lurking in his heart to drag him down. But how was he supposed to find this darkness if it really was there? There was no tutorial on the natural way to go from talking about new clothes to existential crises.

"I just want you to be yourself, Sora," Riku replied earnestly. Sora blinked and looked him in the eye, seemingly taken off guard. After the briefest of moments, his eyes dropped to the ground, and he swallowed uncomfortably. "Sora?" Riku tightened his grip on Sora's collar, making sure he had a good hold in case his friend tried to duck away. "What- did I say the wrong thing? What's wrong?" With Yen Sid's comments from earlier stuck in the forefront of his mind, he couldn't help but immediately assume the worst. It was probably- well, definitely, not the best way to handle this, but at the slightest sign of hesitance his anxieties had kicked into overdrive.  _Would you cool it?_  he thought to himself furiously.  _You're gonna scare him off!_

"What? No, it's fine," Sora assured, looking up at him strangely. He tried to disengage his collar from Riku's iron grip, with no success. "What is up with you?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "You're acting super weird, Riku." Riku shook his head, his face pinched in irritation. He was irritated at himself, but there was no way for Sora to know that.

"I'm sorry, I'm just-" Riku cut himself off as he searched for the words. "Worried, I guess? I don't want you getting hurt." To Riku's horror, this seemed to annoy Sora more than anything else. Though Sora was a full head shorter than him, he managed to have a dark enough look on his face to scare even Riku. Rage was not an emotion he was used to seeing on Sora's face. Maybe on Roxas, sure, but Sora wasn't the type of person to get mad so quickly.

"What, do you think I can't do this?" he snapped, a vengeful storm brewing in his eyes. "I know I'm not at your level right now but that doesn't mean I won't catch up! I've done it before!" He huffed, glaring down at the fist currently curled in his jacket. "You don't have to babysit me. Don't forget, I've kicked your ass a couple of times, and I'll do it again." Riku stared, mouth agape and completely at a loss. "I don't want your  _pity_ , you jerk."

"What? No, I- what? Sora, where did that even come from? I didn't- I thought that- I was trying to- hell, I don't even know anymore, but that's  **not**  what I meant." Riku leaned in, tried to look Sora in the eye. "Sora, what's going on? You never get mad like this." Sora opened his mouth to respond, still glaring like Riku had tried to run him through with a Keyblade, when he suddenly stopped. The transition from anger and disgust to raw horror was instantaneous, and Sora buried his face in his hands, red from the adrenaline high and shame.

"I didn't mean that," he mumbled through his fingers. "Sorry." Riku loosened his grip a little, still thoroughly alarmed. That was… not normal. More and more he was beginning to think Yen Sid's words had some substance to them, and the thought made his blood run cold.

"Then what did you mean, Sora?" he asked gently, trying not to do or say whatever had set him off the first time. "I've never seen you get mad like that before." Sora took a breath to steady himself, then looked up at Riku.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" he asked ruefully. He swayed on his feet a bit, looking unfocused and unsure. It was almost like he was just waking up, from a long dream, the kind where the details were hazy but you felt if you just tried long enough, you could remember what it was trying to tell you.

"I mean, I might have before, but I definitely won't now," Riku responded, keeping his voice light  
and calm.  _Don't scare him. And definitely don't piss him off again, yeesh._  Sora took one more deep  
breath, but then his shoulders hunched in on themselves. He looked lost, confused. More than  
anything, Riku wanted to give him a hug, do something, anything to take that hopeless look off  
his face. But he had to let him speak. He had to hear this now, before it was too late.

"You said, that I should be myself. But… who is that, though?" Sora reached up and let his fingers wrap around Riku's wrist. Riku could feel sweat build up on his fingers where he was holding on, but he didn't dare let go of Sora. He'd let go of him too many times before. Sora forged on, his voice wavering. "Who am I to you, Riku?"

And wow, wasn't that a loaded question.

"I- how am I even supposed to answer that?" Riku asked honestly, completely taken aback. He struggled to form words several times, finally giving up and looking at Sora helplessly. Sora looked away, seeming disappointed.

"It's okay if you don't know. I just figured I'd ask." Despite Riku's best efforts, he pulled out of his grip with a deft twist of his shoulders, backing away from him. The space between them felt forced, unnatural, but when Riku stepped forward to close it, Sora just backed away again. It was  _wrong_ , this silence, this distance. "Sometimes I- I wonder if I'm the same person I was before all of this started. And I don't know if I have an answer to that." In that moment, Sora looked so lost, so afraid, staring down at his palms because he wasn't brave enough to look Riku in the eye. Riku could see it now: Sora, losing hope and giving up; Sora, falling to Xehanort and leaving him behind; Sora, smiling softly, telling his last silent lie before his light went out. And before Riku could stop himself the words he wasn't able to say before came tumbling out all at once.

"You're… you're still the kid I grew up with, Sora. You're still  _you_. But you're so much more than that, too. You're the one who dragged me back from the edge of darkness when all I wanted was to jump straight in. You're the one who scoured world after world to drag Kairi and me back home. You're the one who never stopped fighting to help people, even when it seemed hopeless. You're the reason I'm here, the reason I'm a Keyblade Master. You're everything, Sora." This time, when he came closer, Sora didn't back away, and he didn't resist when he reached down to take both of Sora's hands in his. He took a shaky breath, in, out. "And when I see you hurting, I want nothing more than to take you away, hide you someplace safe where you'll never have to fight ever again." Riku bit his tongue to stop the rambling, to try and organize his thoughts. Now that he'd started it was near impossible to stop. Another slow breath, in, out. "But I… I can't do that. Because it's my fault that you're out here fighting in the first place. And every time I look away, you somehow get stronger. No matter what challenges you face, you find a way to surpass it. And you have so much love to give. Your heart is so full of light that sometimes looking at you feels like looking at the sun. I- I just-"

 _"Riku."_  Sora's eyes were wide, his tone hushed and full of awe.

"You're my light, Sora. You're a source of hope to so many people. And you do it so effortlessly.  _That's_  who you are. You're the light in the darkness, for everyone who's lost. Like I was. Like I sometimes still am." Riku closed his eyes, overwhelmed. "I'm just not sure what I have to say to make you see that too. I wish I was better at this. I'm sorry."

He squeezed Sora's hands in his, both seeking and giving reassurance, and waited with bated breath to see how Sora would respond. For a few moments, there was silence. The only sound was of the breeze, whispering as it flowed around them. Seconds passed, agonizingly slow.  _Breathe in. Breathe out. Wait. Wait for him to respond. Don't push it. Let him come to you. Just wait._

"Okay." Sora looked up, his eyes shining with what almost looked like unshed tears. "Then that's good enough for me." Riku blinked a few times, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"Huh?"

"If you believe in me that much, then I must be capable of more than I realize," Sora said, sounding leagues more confident than before. He leaned forward, taking Riku's hands more firmly in his. "I trust you, more than I trust myself. So if you think I can do this, then I believe you." He looked off to the side. "And… I guess it's nice, hearing someone have so much faith in me. Even if I managed to screw my test up." He smiled and then let go suddenly, turning around and taking a few steps away before Riku could stop him. This time, though, the distance didn't feel so much like a wall. It felt more like clearing the air, letting some of the emotions swirling between them disperse. Sora let out a long suffering sigh. "Man, I've got a lot of catching up to do, though. Fighting Heartless kinda sucks right now, and it'll keep being that way until I get back into the rhythm of things." He turned and shot a grin at Riku, eyes twinkling with the same mischievous light they always did. Riku sighed and closed his eyes. Figures that the moment Sora started being honest, he backed off again right after. But… he had opened up. He had asked for help, instead of acting like everything was fine. If he did that, then it couldn't possibly be as bad as Yen Sid had feared. Could it?

"I'm happy to help, but Sora, you should already believe in yourself. Not just because I do." Riku looked down at Sora. It struck him, all at once, how young Sora looked. How small he was, standing in front of Riku. There was less than a year's difference in age between them, and yet Riku felt the weight of responsibility dragging on his shoulders. He had to take care of Sora. He had promised he would, so long ago. Sora shot him a look, lips pursed as he tried not to smile.

"I'll try," he demurred coyly. "I guess we'll just have to see how things go. There's lots of other worlds to prove myself in. If you're not careful I might catch up to you!" Riku rolled his eyes. Just like that, things were back to normal.

"Well, if you're going to go anywhere," Riku announced, striding up to Sora purposefully, "then you can't go with your hair looking like  _that_." He reached out for the mess of spikes Sora called hair and did his best to smooth them down into something presentable. It was like trying to herd a pack of Heartless, and it didn't help that Sora was squirming and complaining about it, trying to twist away from his hands. This time, though, with the added boost of determination, a height advantage, and a touch of magic he managed to keep a firm hold on him until he was satisfied with the results. He took a step back to survey the fruits of his labor.

"I suppose that's as good as it's going to get," he mused, trying and failing not to grin at the pout on Sora's face. Sora reached up to try and reshape the unruly mane, but it was too late. Riku's ministrations had successfully tamed it, for now.

"How did you do that?" Sora cried, shaking his head at the unfamiliar way that it had settled. "Riku, now it feels weird. What did you do? And why can't I make it go back?" He pawed at it before finally giving up with a huff. "It better not look weird."

"It doesn't look weird, I promise," Riku said fondly. "And I'm not telling you how I got it to stay cause then you'll figure out how to make it un-stay." He waved a hand nonchalantly. "Besides, new hair to go with the new clothes. Now you  _actually_  look more mature." Indeed, the slightly less crazy alignment framed Sora's face a little differently. Although, if anything, it made his face look even rounder and more boyish. But that wasn't Riku's problem. At least he looked slightly less like a scruffy, homeless, world-hopping vagabond.

"Please don't tell me you took actual time to learn magic to get my hair to stay," Sora begged, looking extremely put-upon. Riku let out a laugh.

"Who knows?" he responded, inwardly delighting at the look on Sora's face. It was nice, being able to smile and laugh and tease, and pretend it wasn't all a lead up to a war they never asked to be in. It wasn't perfect, and Riku still had his doubts about Sora's wellbeing. But Sora trusted him, and that meant more than anyone else knew. They'd be okay. "But either way, stop messing with it. It looks fine."

"Riku, are you two done saying your goodbyes?" Mickey called from the door, startling them both. "I know you miss each other but we really don't have any more time to waste." Riku glanced back at Sora, who yanked his hand away from his hair with a sheepish look. He huffed out a laugh.

"Yeah, I think we're good," he called back. "We can head out whenever you're ready, Mickey." He turned back to face Sora fully. "I guess it's goodbye for now. Seeing how things are going, though, we'll probably regroup pretty soon. So it won't be too long. If we're lucky, the next time we're here it'll be with Master Aqua in tow."

"Thank goodness for little blessings, I guess," Sora sighed. "You'll have to tell Kairi hi for me, seeing as you get to go visit her and I don't." He put his arms straight up and stretched, rising up onto his tiptoes before settling again. "One of these days we'll all actually get to travel together," he whined. "You know, seeing as that was all we've really wanted to do for the past couple a' years before we got wrapped up in this whole mess." Riku shook his head fondly.

"We'll get our chance," he stated with utmost confidence. "Once the worlds are safe, we can go wherever you want. All three of us, like we wanted." Sora bounced up on his toes again, his smile suddenly blinding.

"You mean it?" he gasped, eyes sparkling like the ocean when the winds were calm and the water as smooth as glass.

"Promise." Riku turned to face the Tower, squinting up at the top of it where Yen Sid awaited the results of their journeys. "We just gotta take care of this first." Sora hummed in agreement, appeased for the moment. The sound of footsteps drawing closer prompted Riku to try and turn back around, but before he could, arms wrapped around his middle, and a sense of warmth spread across his back. Sora rested his head between Riku's shoulder blades and let out a shuddery sigh.

"Be safe, please," he murmured into the fabric. "You have to come back in one piece." Riku stiffened for half a second before leaning back into the embrace. As friendly as Sora was, he wasn't big on physical affection, and hugs freely given by him were few and far between. It was another one of those things Riku planned to remedy as soon as the threat of this war wasn't constantly hanging over them.

"I'll be okay, Sora," he promised, trying to ignore the pointed look Mickey was shooting their way. "I've got lots of reasons to come back." The grip on his waist released, and before Sora could once again dodge away, Riku spun around and rested his hands on his friend's shoulders. "But the same goes for you. You're not allowed to take too many risks, okay? No crazy stunts, and  _especially_  no self sacrificing." He let his gaze soften, let the affection and worry shine through in his eyes. "Don't think for a second that I won't go and bring you back myself if you get into trouble." To his relief, this sparked a genuine laugh, the kind that made Sora's eyes wrinkle at the corners and his cheeks dimple.

"Alright, I get the picture." Sora leaned back, letting Riku take some of his weight. "We better get going, though. If I don't hurry up I'll never hear the end of it from Donald." He shrugged his shoulders, releasing some of the tension that had been lying there since his earlier outburst. "I'll see you around, Riku." He tried to step back, but Riku still had a hold of his shoulders. He glanced up, confusion mixing with amusement. "Riku?"

It was mostly impulse that prompted Riku to fold his arms around Sora and draw him tight to his chest, burying his face in auburn spikes. There was enough of a height difference that Riku could shield him entirely, and it made him feel like maybe he wasn't doing everything wrong. His one goal was to keep Sora alive, and if he could do that, he'd be happy. Sora, for his part, stiffened like he always did when faced with unexpected affection, before relaxing and going limp in the embrace.

"If you're not careful you're going to ruin my hair," Sora teased, muffled in Riku's shirt. Riku released him all at once, causing both of them to stumble slightly.

"Sorry, I just-" He stopped, then squinted. "Ha, ha, very funny," he griped, moping ever so slightly. He wanted nothing more than to reach forward and draw Sora back into the hug, but he clenched his fist against the desire. They both had their jobs to do, and they couldn't just stand out here delaying the inevitable for any longer. "Just- try not to die," he sighed. It felt inadequate, but there wasn't much more he could do short of just going with Sora.

"Thanks," Sora said teasingly, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. Real? Fake? At this point Riku was afraid to wonder. If he spent any more time questioning the validity of Sora's cheerful demeanor he might explode. "I'm sure that advice will be reeeeaaal helpful when the Heartless decide to come knocking." With that, he did a little hop on his toes before he turned to head towards the Gummi Ship, his steps confident. Just before reaching the hatch he turned one last time, waving as he did so.

"You better be here with Aqua next time I see you!" he hollered. "'Cause I'll be coming back with Roxas one of these days, and then you'll really be in trouble!"

"Looking forward to it!" Riku called back, his smile suddenly strained. Spoiler alert: he definitely wasn't looking forward to it. He didn't regret waking Sora up, but he did regret slightly the means taken to do so. He was fairly certain there would be some choice words saved up for him once Sora found a way to bring back his short-tempered Nobody.

He watched as Sora disappeared into the colourful hull, where Goofy and Donald were no doubt impatiently awaiting his arrival so they could finally continue their journey. The ship lifted off near silently, and Riku waved as it shot off into the bright expanse of stars. Even though he couldn't see Sora he had no doubt the other was doing the same.

And for now, that was all he could do. He prayed to whatever higher power was out there that Sora come back safe. As long as they got to go home at the end of it all, all three of them, he'd be happy.


	2. Though Fate Casts Us Adrift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard, realising you don't know your best friend as well as you thought you did. What's even harder is knowing that it's your fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, despite being a quarter the length of the first one, took me just about the same length of time to write. In other words, it kicked my ass. I have gone through draft after draft, rewrite after rewrite of this anime character having a heartfelt conversation with a mouse, and if I have to look at it any longer I think I might cry. So here, this is as good as it's going to get.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Mickey asked from behind him, frowning at the space the ship had occupied a moment ago. Riku let out a deep sigh, letting his head slump forward and rolling his shoulders uneasily.

"I think so?" he responded, more a question than a statement. "He… it was kind of weird. He got really mad for some reason, then just. Brushed it off." He turned to look down at his companion, eyebrows furrowed. "He said that he wasn't certain if he was the same person that he was when this all started."

"Well, what did you tell him?" Mickey prompted, quietly noting how Riku was wringing his hands together.

"The truth, I guess. He's- this is Sora we're talking about. He's still himself." He gulped at the contemplative look on Mickey's face. "Isn't he?" Mickey sighed and walked forward to the edge of the grass, staring out the stars. Riku walked up next to him and sat down so they'd be at eye level.

"Are you the same person that you were before all of this, Riku?"

"Absolutely not!" Riku snapped, before recoiling, surprised at his own vehemence. He took a breath, making sure he was in control of his volume before he continued. "No, I've grown a lot. Or at least I hope I have. I was willing to do anything to prove myself back then, even if it meant giving in to the darkness. I turned on my friends, I… well, I did a lot things that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life." And he'd been forgiven anyways. He didn't deserve it, he'd probably never deserve it, but when Sora made up his mind to forgive someone, all grudges were dropped, regardless of the grief he'd suffered. It was infuriating, and incredibly endearing. And worrisome, seeing as half the time Riku was afraid Sora would walk up to someone like Larxene, offer his hand for a handshake and ask to be friends.

Not that Sora remembered Larxene, but that was an entirely different issue that Riku had never found the time or the guts to solve. He had no desire to recall the events that lead to Sora's year in that infernal pod.

Oh, crap, if Sora tried to befriend Larxene it would be Riku's fault.

"So you've changed," Mickey summarized, smiling reassuringly. If he was aware of Riku's rapidly deteriorating train of thought he gave no sign of it. "But it hasn't been a bad thing. In fact, you've done nothing but change for the better. So even if Sora is a different person than he was, it that necessarily something to be worried about?" Riku cast aside his earlier musings so he could process Mickey's words, eyes narrowing as he thought. He wasn't exactly proud of the conclusion he came to.

"I guess… that  _I_  don't want him to be different," he admitted. "The thought of him being anyone but the sleepyhead I knew back on the Islands is scary." The King nodded in agreement.

"It is scary to think of our friends growing up. Especially since sometimes that means they grow away from us too. And in the years since Sora got the Keyblade, you two haven't really spent much time together, have you?" Riku shook his head.

"None of us have. Kairi's been pretty much out of the picture since day one, Sora has either been in a coma or fighting Heartless, and I've been busy conquering my own darkness. It hasn't left much time for socializing, and almost as soon as we got back to the Islands, Master Yen Sid called us in to take the Exam." He clenched his fist, realizing the bitter truth. "I- I don't really know them anymore, do I?"

"Riku, they'll always be your friends," Mickey said placatingly. "But I think that the mistake we made was expecting them not to change like you have. I believe that you and Sora are strong enough to pull this off, and if Kairi is anything like you two then she'll be just as much a force to be reckoned with once she's finished with her training. But you all have to give each other room to grow. You have to give Sora room to grow."

"I know that," Riku groaned petulantly. He sounded more his age in that moment than he had in a long while. "But if Sora changes, then maybe he won't be the same happy kid he was before. Maybe he already isn't. For all I know he's wallowing in the same pits of despair and self doubt that I was up until recently. And if that's the case then I have to do everything within my power to help him." He could sense Mickey gearing up to try and reassure him, so he pressed on before he could be interrupted. "Sora dragged me back from the darkness, and if I don't do the same for him, what kind of friend does that make me?"

"It makes you human, Riku. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can't save the ones we care about." Riku turned to face his companion, surprised by the sudden change in tone. Mickey looked more upset than he had ever seen him be, and he was reminded of the cruel fate the Masters they were searching for had met. The very same Masters that Mickey had called his friends, more than ten years ago. Regret, bitter and familiar, swirled in Riku's chest. It was a poison he chose to drink willingly, a chain that prevented him from wandering back to past habits. But it stung, nonetheless.

"Their loss wasn't your fault, Mickey," he said into the silence, unsure of what to say. That seemed to be a theme, today, and never had Riku mourned his lack of conversational skills more. "It's like Master Yen Sid said: Xehanort always seems to be three steps ahead. There was no way to prevent what happened. All we can do is try to save them now."

"Thank you, Riku," Mickey replied earnestly. "But if you're so sure of that, then that also means you aren't allowed to blame yourself if anything happens to Sora. Or Kairi, for that matter. None of you asked to fight in this war, and any casualties that come from it are not your fault. Understood?" Riku opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again. Then opened it again, cause dammit, self-doubt was the  _one_  thing he was good at and it was annoying to be backed into a corner like this. However, there wasn't a single argument he could come up with that didn't also incriminate Mickey in the process, a fact that was very clear to his companion based on the look on his face. It was a mix of both concern and amusement, and it made Riku want to hunch his shoulders up and hide in his hood. He admitted defeat with a huff, looking away to hide his embarrassment. Sometimes he forgot that being taller than someone didn't always make him smarter than them. As a rule, it worked pretty well with his friends from the Islands. Not so much with a King who'd been wielding a Keyblade for as long as he'd been alive.

"I suppose you're right," Riku conceded, unable to keep the hint of a whine out of his voice. "But I still have every intention of making sure Sora survives this." He let his eyes wander, traveling lazily across the star scape in front of him. "Even if it costs me my life." For all of the terrible gravity of the statement, it was delivered without hesitance. It wasn't a question that Riku had to ask himself, which of them came first. He just knew. And the answer would be Sora, every time.

The silence after his words was deafening.

"I wish I could say with confidence that you won't have to," Mickey mused. Riku could only describe his tone as  _melancholy_. It must sting, to have to rely on children to fight your battles for you. To know their lives were on your hands and be able to do nothing but watch as they threw themselves onto the enemy's blades. It was not a thought Riku liked to entertain for very long; his own regrets were difficult enough to bear. "But I have no doubt you'll do what you think needs to be done."

In the silence that followed, Riku stood up, brushing the dust off of his trousers. They could sit here and wax poetic for as long as they liked, but it wouldn't get them any closer to finding Aqua. And it wouldn't put Sora in any less danger than he already was.

"We should probably get going," Riku announced, striding back to the ground floor of the Tower where he'd left the suitcase that contained Lea's new fairy-endorsed clothing. "Like you said, we really don't have time to waste." After retrieving the case, he turned to look at Mickey. "Not if we want to be ready in time to face Xehanort."

"Of course." Mickey, in turn, picked up the other case, lugging it over his shoulder. Despite the fact it was the smaller of the two, it nearly dwarfed the mouse. Riku stifled a snicker. Unsuccessfully. "But remember Riku, when it comes to matters of the heart, there's almost always enough time to say the things that really need to be said. Even when things look hopeless." Riku was offered an encouraging smile, and despite everything, seeing his battle partner's optimism did lift his spirits a little. "I'm sure that when it really counts, you'll find the words you need."

"There's always enough time," Riku repeated thoughtfully. "Yeah, I suppose there is. Thanks, Mickey."

"It's no problem, Riku. Now, shall we get going? I'm sure you're excited to see Kairi." Riku hefted the suitcase a little, squared his shoulders, and bared his teeth in a savage grin that practically dared the universe to try and stop him. With a Keyblade in hand and Sora by his side, he could do  _anything_. It was with that thought in mind that he summoned his Keyblade to open a gate to their next destination.

"Yeah. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not much happened in this chapter, but since Sora gets to have Donald, Goofy, AND Jiminy as his voices of reason, it's only fair that Mickey get to impart some wisdom to Riku. And yes, writing Mickey fucking Mouse as a mentor-tyoe character physically tore my soul apart but it had to be done. I guess. I read all of his lines in his voice as I wrote and I think I may be going insane
> 
> Anyways, that's all for now! I still have lots of feels from kh3 so I doubt this will be the last of the things I write, so keep an eye out! You can find me on tumblr as kamiddani, and you can find my partner in crime and fellow Kingdom Hearts enthusiast Quill on there too, as quillowl. I would add links but I'm writing this from a tablet so you're just gonna have to work for it if you actually feel like finding my tumblr, lmao
> 
> (If you guys are like me and are starving for Sora and Terra interactions, check out Quill's fic, On the Heels of Reticence! It's a delightful 5+1 fic starring my two favorite boys and it's SO good! Find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17842721/chapters/42103661  
> Trust me, it is worth your time!)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how clear it came across, but that moment where Sora lost his shit? That was mostly Roxas. I love Sora to death but I really don't think he has it in him to get mad at Riku or Kairi. And it bugged me that Ven got several moments where his wants prompted Sora to speak up, and all Roxas got was some vague feelings about Twilight Town. I personally believe that Roxas doesn't really hold what Riku did against him. By this point Roxas cared about Sora enough that he agrees that Sora needed to be woken up. ("See, Sora? This is why it has to be you.") But I do think he'd get annoyed at the implication that Sora, and by extension, himself, aren't strong enough to do what needs to be done, along with some leftover feelings of distrust cause let's face it, you don't just get choked by a giant Guardian Heartless without some lasting repercussions. 
> 
> Anyways, this is mostly the whole story. The second chapter is just Mickey inparting some wise words to Riku after Sora takes off. He's trying his best, but sometimes having an adult (even if that adult is a mouse) reassure you that you're doing okay is pretty nice.


End file.
